COARA on the 20th JUNE,1996

A piece of very sad news:

Last night( before dawn on June 20th 1996 ), Mr.Terao( ID739 ), my mentor and dear friend, passed away.

He was born in 1920 (Taisho 14) in Oita city.
After graduation from Hiroshima Teacher's college, he returned to Oita and worked as a teacher of mathematics at Uenogaoka high school. He was also involved in founding Oita Oginodai high school, then became the vice-principal of the school. Mr.Terao's teaching career spanned throughout his life until his retirement in 1986 as the first principal of the then newly founded Beppu Hamurodai high school.

In COARA, Computer communication of Oita Amateur Research Association, he talked to us about his experience through a "Child-rearing conference" , his life work, of the net. His posts totalled more than one hundred.

In the summer of 1991, he talked about his vivid experience of direct exposure to an atomic bomb at Hiroshima in his school days at Hiroshima Teacher's college. The post created a big sensation. Then the memoir was gradually transmitted to many people beyond COARA and became a pyramid in computer communication history.

Wake : 7 p.m., June 21st, 1996 at Aoi Hall, Oita city
Funeral : 2 p.m., June 22nd, 1996 at Aoi Hall, Oita city
Chief mourner: The eldest son Shinji Terao

I got a phone call from Mr. Miyase this mooring.
I could hardly believe it.

I visited Mr. Terao's house to mourn.
His face was quite peaceful.

May his soul rest in peace..

I read his last posting, no. 952, from his "Child-rearing conference".

I feel deep loneliness, sadness and regret.

It is a great shock.....May his soul rest in peace.

I am also a graduate from Uenodai High School. Mr.Terao was teaching at the school, but I couldn't take his class.

Whenever I read the posts in the "Child-rearing Conference", I repeatedly regretted that I couldn't receive his instruction.

Luckily, I could get acquainted with his personality through COARA, and had some chances to talk directly with him.

I am now reading the posts he left.

May his soul rest in peace.

From the bottom of my heart, may his soul rest in peace.

As his son is my colleague in my office, I was first notified of the news at the morning meeting.
It was so sudden that I couldn't believe it. I re-confirmed it, but unfortunately, it was true.

At this moment I can't find words, but it is a great shock, indeed.

I say again, may his soul rest in peace. .

I held my breath for a moment when I first heard the news.
It was so sudden that I couldn't believe it myself.
I have many regrets.

I recall a day when I went to Hita city in a group including him. I was given rare plants like peacock cactus and fragrance pansy from his garden.

Above all, I was taught much by his posts in the "Child-rearing Conference."

I can't still believe the sad news.

May his soul rest in peace.

I can't find any word to express my feeling now.

I still can't believe it but it is true, isn't it?

I unexpectedly shouted in my office when I got the news from Mr. Matsumura.

Mr. Terao taught my class in my first year of high school.
I remember I was a not-so-good student.
I remember when I argued about school problems - he often had a headache, saying in local tongue "I can understand what you want to say, but it is hard to go exactly where you want in the school, you know."

One day at a COARA meeting, I apologized to him about my trouble-making in school days.
He laughed and said "No, no. No trouble at all. I had been expecting you since then. It's very good to see you again."
I was delighted to hear it, and saluted him before I knew what I was doing. Ah, it is really sad and lonely, indeed.

The sudden news made me silent for awhile.

I shut my eyes to remind myself of Mr. Terao's smile...... At the meeting of COARA, I had a chance to meet him, and he had kindly talked to me.

I remember I had once discussed with him in the "Child-rearing Conference" the theme of a teacher who had forgotten to apply for a high school entrance examination.

May his soul rest in peace.

From my deepest heart, may his soul rest in peace.

I doubted my ears for a moment when I got a call from Mrs. Nagano.

What sad news it was!
Until this moment, I have thought of him as a great senior member of COARA.

I recall the day when we appeared together on a video program, sponsored by the Ministry of Education, entitled "Friendship Exchange through personal computers", a part of "Increasing Information Utilization Capability." At that time, I had just joined COARA, and was deeply moved to find an excellent senior member like him. I made up my mind to become like him.

Eight years have passed since then. Whenever I read postings in the "Child-rearing Conference", I was always at ease, not knowing why. This was because of his warm personality.

Last year, he visited my town along with COARA members. He enjoyed walking around the old town to see Hina dolls of Mameta street, the Japanese sandal factory that I ran, and even the memorial exhibition hall of "Yohichiro's" named after my late husband.

Now, his gentle smile comes up behind my closed eyelids, I can only endure the sadness.

Mr. Terao - may his soul rest in peace.

* P.S. Dear Mrs.Mieko Nagano, thank for your call.*

This was really sad news.
As others do, I also recall much about him.
I remember many scenes:
we went together to Kunisaki and Hita,
his posts to the "Child-rearing Conference."

He once appeared on NHK public TV and was happy to talk about it, saying he was spoken to by many people since then.

I feel very lonely.

May his soul rest in peace.

Really?

I wish the news was wrong, I can hardly believe it.

I just knew him on COARA net. I can't believe his passing away.

Although I hadn't seen him at recent COARA monthly off-line meetings, I thought he was doing well.
I felt somewhat relieved when I saw him at a meeting. Mr. Tomoda, you were taught in your school by the great teacher, weren't you? I envy you.

Why are my eyes flooded with tears reading Mr. Matsumura's postings or responses of other people? Can't I feel his warm presence anymore? I wish he would have talked much more in COARA.

I have no more suitable words to say now.

May his soul rest in peace.

Shocked!

I was also informed at the lunch break, from my colleague.
My colleague's uncle was Mr. Terao's student.

Recently, I haven't seen him at the "Cafe Shop" and I also have had no news that he made a trip.

I supposed he would drop in to the next meeting this coming Saturday without notice.

But... I really feel lonely.

May his soul rest in peace.

What! Really? Mr. Matsumura, I wish this news was incorrect.

My heart aches strongly.

Human life is really faint.

I am surprised.
He has gone away...

When I was worrying about my future plans upon entering a university in my highschool days, he talked to me through the net.
I printed out all the mail I got then and I will keep it forever.

Thank you, Mr. Terao.

I got a call from Mr. Miyase this morning about Mr. Terao's passing.

I couldn't believe the news and lost myself for a while in the office.

Soon, I couldn't help rushing to his house.
Just a couple days ago, I visited him to explain how to access the Internet with a Macintosh computer.
Today, I found a notification board of mourning in front of the house.

I knew it was busy for funeral arrangements, but I couldn't stop myself from seeing him. I also thought I have to relay the facts of his death as exactly as possible to all the people who knew him.

I saw Mr. Terao, sleeping peacefully in the bed.
Many scenes come to mind: Mr. Terao teaching in the classroom of the high school, the first electronic mail I received after joining COARA ( I haven't deleted this message, and have kept it in my PC for eight years), useful talks in the "Child-rearing Conference", the memoir on his exposure to the A-bomb that he confessed beyond his bitter memory, and his feature at off-line monthly meetings.
I couldn't swallow what sprang up from inside of my body.

He had just started using the Internet. He should have seen the future world much more.
The memoir on his exposure to the A-bomb was published based upon his firm confidence in describing his bitter past. He used all his power to write it. In the domain of PC communication, I have never read such moving words.

His wife spoke to her husband, "Mr. Matsumura is here."
She didn't still know well what Mr. Terao dedicated to the PC communication group.

I talked with her about the memoir. She said that her husband didn't talk much about the A-bomb, but she was really happy to know that he had left behind such a memoir.

I would like to sum up his post in a suitable way.

May his soul rest in peace.

Mr. Matsumura wrote that Mrs. Terao was happy about the memoir which Mr. Terao didn't talk much about. I feel Mr. Terao's expectation and will toward COARA.
I believe he must now be satified to have handed down the experience to COARA.

Mr. Terao's image comes to my mind along with with Peace Memorial Hall, which I visited two days ago on a business trip to Hiroshima.

I can imagine his face sleeping in peace.

I was quite surprised.

I couldn't believe it for awhile.

I had been just a trouble maker for him.

I lost my chance to apologize to him.

May his soul rest in peace.

How can I express my deep grief?

I knew him only on the PC screen, like Mr. Ozeki did.
But I remember I was presented a small pretty bag from him, hand-made by his wife.

May his soul rest in peace.

I have many memories of him.

May his soul rest in peace.

"I am sorry, Mr. Terao."

This is the first phrase that came out of my mouth when I suddenly got the news from Mr. Matsumura.

I have been asked by Mr. Terao who said "Pardon, Mr. Ishii, would you kindly drop in my house when you have time to teach me how to use my PC?" But I have been very busy and tired by attending claiming customers who kept me very late in my shop. In the end, I couldn't visit him. This is why the word "sorry" crossed my mind.

Mr. Terao purchased three PCs at my shop. The first machine he bought was, (although I didn't remember at first), NEC's 88 model. He studied the BASIC language and enjoyed programming by himself. He joined COARA through the machine. He created documents with a word processor and posted them to the "Child-rearing Conference" of COARA, in a series. The second PC was the newest type of NEC 98, equipped with a hard disk. He wrote messages using Ichitaro, a famous word processing program, and expanded his communication in large scale.

He finally purchased a Macintosh PC to keep in touch with the newest trend of the booming Internet.
I visited Mr. Terao's home to set up the machine. After two hours, he could access the COARA home page for the first time. He called his wife to show it to her. He also succeeded in accessing various sites all over the world, beginning with the White House page. He was so delighted, with his eyes open wide like a child, by viewing it. This is one of my most pleasant memories of him. Mr. Terao has always been with us.

He was positively received on an NHK TV program.

As he lived close to my shop, he often brought me home-grown persimmons or loquat fruits, saying "The shape of those persimmons is not good but they are sweet." They were really delicious

.Now, I really regret his passing away.

May his soul rest in peace.

May his soul rest in peace.

It is my greatest surprise to learn of his sudden passing.

I remember the day when we joined an off-line meeting held in Hita city to visit the Hina Doll Festival and a museum of an old traditional Japanese pharmacy named Nihonmaru. In the museum, the guide coincidentally knew Mr. Terao, because he had lived in Oita as a child. The guide treated us especially kindly.

As we knew Mr. Terao on PC screen, we could talk with him freely even though we hadn't actually met him before.

He often responded to me in the "Bazaar conference" site. I have been worrying that he hadn't accessed it recently......now I know why.

We say from remote Shiga prefecture:

May his soul rest in peace..

Clasp hands.

Just a few days ago, he was here in the COARA office......he looked very healthy. I feel very lonely now. He also appeared on NHK's live program "Pirates" and enjoyed it.

I really feel lonely.

May his soul rest in peace.

It is really regrettable. May his soul rest in peace.

I graduated from Kunisaki High School 14 years ago. It was Mr. Terao who handed me my diploma.

Later, I moved to Oita and posted a self introduction to COARA net.
Mr. Terao quickly responded, saying "May I ask if you are Mr. Tokumaru, who graduated from Kunisaki High School in 1982?" I remember I was so delighted.

I was invited by him to his house but couldn't go.

It is really regrettable.

I was just on time to the wake.
I found many people gathering there.

I realized again that he had a broad human network, and got deep confidence from them.

May his soul rest in peace.

I can't find words to express my feelings now.

I also was first acquainted with him through COARA.

I once visited him on business.
It was probably the repair of a cordless phone.
I knocked on the door, Oh! Mr. Terao. As the repair of the phone was so simple, I said "This could be treated by claim, no repair charge was needed." But he said it was too much for me, you should bill me, business is business."
I still remember it.

It was the first and the last time I visited him.

May his soul rest in peace.

After reading response no.12:

Dear Mr. Matsumura, thank you for your sentiments concerning Mr. Terao, and for informing me of them in detail.

I agree with you about publishing his experience of the direct exposure to the A-bomb.
His memories should definitely be re-posted posthumously, in order to hand them down through COARA to a generation which doesn't know about the war.

I firmly believe it is his will.

I attended the wake. I met Miss. Yamasaki and Mr. Matsumura on the way. In the hall, I joined to Mr. Sasaki, Mr. Shibata, Mr. Ishii and others.

They looked dark and disappointed. My eyes became wet against my will.

When I was talking with friends, I recalled a memory of Mr. Terao: at an off-line meeting held a long time ago. He asked me, "Mr. Tomoda, I have something to ask you." I responded "What is it?" But we had no time to continue because I was called by another friend to get in a car to pub Muichimon. I said to him "Lets talk about it next time; please call me at my office whenever you want."

That was the last conversation with him.
What did he want to ask?
My mind is stuck on it.
Now I feel it very regrettable.

This is my greatest sadness since I lost Mr. Takamatsu, then curator of Oita aquarium, several years ago.

I knew Mr. Takamatsu very well, and Mr. Terao as well. It was very delightful to meet them at the COARA meetings. Why do I have to face such sad days again?

A person like Mr. Terao was quite important to COARA, indeed...... I really regret his loss.

It is the wake today, indeed.

I remember that Mr. Terao said at a meeting of the conference chairman held in May 1992, that he enjoyed reading the posts of the "Pub Conference."

May his soul rest in peace.

I have just attended the wake.

I also know him only through COARA, but his photograph on the altar was "school teacher" itself.

He was a great teacher, indeed....... I was not so familiar with him before, but I still recall his posts on the net, his face at the off-line meetings in the sutra chanting.

I clasped hands, saying "May his soul rest in peace."

It was on the NHK TV program that I met him.
It was just a few days ago, indeed. I remember it.

Mr. Shibata advised me of his passing away yesterday. I am really shocked because it is so sudden.

I am sorry that I will not be able to join the funeral tomorrow.

May his soul rest in peace.

I have talked with him only on the net.
I remember he responded in a very warm way to my first self-introduction.

I thanked him through e-mail. He sent me back a long message encouraging me as a school teacher and a senior of life.
That message from him is my treasure....

Although I couldn't attend the funeral, I pray for him from afar.

May his soul rest in peace.

It is very sad to recall Mr. Terao's noble-minded personality.

It was at an off-line meeting of COARA that I first met him.
It was not long since he had retired from school.
He said, I remember, "I have had many proposals of a second job, but they expect me to exert some kind of influence from my career. I don't like it. I would like enjoy my second life.
High handed appointment was prevailing then. I felt a strange feeling hearing his words, and thought he was too excellent to retire.

I could understand later, however, a part of his personality through the posts in the "Child-rearing Conference."

There was a post from him which reminded mehow Mr. Terao handled a problem that might otherwise have been treated by laws or rules.
The problem was that a junior high school student had forgotten to submit the application form to a high school entrance exam.
This topic was, I remember, introduced by Mr.Shimizu. When Mr. Terao heard of it, he said such a small mistake in an application procedure should be resolved through the talking of the teachers in both sides.

Mr. Terao's opinions in the "Child-rearing Conference" have always made me think deeply.
He picked up any small problem and commented on them based upon his own experience.
His tone was not argumentative. He quietly talked to the hearts of people.
His talk could easily be objected to or interpreted in the other way if one wanted to do so. He never made arguments, he just gently described what he thought.
I was attracted by a person who wrote such postings. I soon found myself regarding Mr. Terao as my "teacher."
As I had no chance to be taught in the school, I am not "his student" in it's exact meaning. But through COARA, I believe I could become a real "student."

At the wake, I couldn't stop tears fom flowing down my face.
I will not join the funeral because I might lose myself and cry.
May his soul rest in peace.
Mr. Terao was looking down at me with a smile from the photo frame on the altar.
As I approach him in the procession of burning incense, I felt just as if he looked me in the eye. I was relieved to get the sense that he finally accepted me just like a child receives a parents' permission after a long time of neglect.

I have joined the funeral of Mr. Terao.
It was a very impressive one.
I sat on a seat thinking that he had suddenly passed away and I was now here to see him off.

Many mourners, many flower wreath dedications, the name on the wreath showed Mr. Terao's personality in his lifetime.

I have now seen him off, but I still can't actually believe it.
I believe he is always with us, in COARA.

I was a little bit reluctant to join a monthly off-line meeting and a drinking party.
But we agreed that Mr. Terao would approve of the party.

Mr. Terao, May his soul rest in peace. Please watch us forever.

May his soul rest in peace.
I have no words to say on such a sudden passing.

Mr. Terao was my uncle.
I remember he always had a smile when I was taken to meetings of relatives in my childhood. Unfortunately, I was not directly taught by him. But now I have learned by hearing from many people that he was a great teacher.

At the wake, aunt Terao told me that Mr. Terao was delighted to get e-mails from me. Her words moved me.
Uncle Terao, I would have talked much more.
Knowing it is too late to retrieve his posts in the "Child-rearimg Conference", I can't help feeling many regrets.
Please sleep in peace.
I would say again, May his soul rest in peace.

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